September is calling, and it’s natural for children to feel anxious when faced with a new classroom. New teacher, new support staff, and for some even a different school. As parents or caregivers we want what’s best for them, which usually equates to them being happy in general.
What if your child experiences anxiety that you simply can’t talk them through? After all, school is the best time of our lives… isn’t it?? Well, we like the holidays just as much but when it comes to family life. We all know things run smoothly when our youngest members are calm and content.
This article offers practical ways to support your child with the idea of change, to help you to prepare them for the exciting year ahead. With the help of some useful tools, you’ll be able to prepare your children manage their emotions and grow into healthier young adults.
In the UK at least, primary schools are pretty aware that a new school year can bring about a lot of anxiety. Many schools introduce classes to their new teacher in July ahead of the summer holidays, to help east the transition. They may even visit their new classroom and see where their coat hooks or lockers are. All of this can help ease the nerves of moving up a year group, but it’s normal for children to cope with this change in their own way.
It may be that children are worried about things you’ve never even thought about, so it’s important to ask open questions. They may be concerned about routines, lunches, what table they’ll be sitting on, or even where to line up in the morning. Their world is home and school so it’s important to support these concerns and give them your time.
Children, like adults, are all going to experience worry in their own way. Some may show emotional signs of anxiety at going back to school, such as tearfulness, irritability or being more clingy than usual. Other signs may be behavioural such as lashing out, refusing to go to school or activities, or trouble sleeping. There are also physical signs to look out for such as stomach aches, feeling sick or overly tired.
Look out for these traits in your child:
If you can pick up on these signs in your child and figure out what’s worrying them, then you can work on some solutions in good time before the first day back, and ease that transition back to the classroom.
Some children will struggle to articulate how they feel so try not to guess, but give them different ways to express their emotions. You might use the emotional regulation colours of red, yellow, blue, and green to help identify your child’s feelings. Or if they like to draw, they could show you through a picture. Younger children may identify with their toys ‘feelings’ so if they have a favourite toy or teddy, perhaps role play with them to help the child feel more supported and able to share their feelings.
Primary Schools will often have ‘ELSA’ staff trained in emotional literacy, often working in break out groups with children who need help managing their emotions, or those with autism or additional learning needs. This emotional support involves identifying fears, feelings, dreams and skills to help improve confidence and self-belief. These techniques address children’s core concerns, which can help children feel safe to reach their full potential at school. This can also improve their home life!
Here are some techniques that ELSA staff may use, which could help you at home.
1 – Name the feeling
Build their emotional vocabulary by helping them name their feelings. You can offer suggestions such as ‘you look disappointed or ‘are you feeling sad?’ but try not to tell them how they feel or control the narrative. Telling them not to worry won’t help!
Children respond incredibly well when they feel acknowledged and heard, so this initial step is worth being patient for.
2 – Find the root of the problem
Identify the problem together, and work towards a solution. Acknowledge the child’s issue, and think about how you might feel in that situation. You can come up with some tangible solutions together, help them overcome it. Returning to school can feel like a big deal, so breaking it down into key parts can help. Explore subjects, teachers, friends, orientation, lunches.
If friendships are the issue for example, try organising a play-date with a good friend. This wil give them something in common from the summer holidays on the first day back. Children grow and change so quickly, and the 6 week break can feel like a lifetime!
Try to come up with one solid solution and work on that together.
3 – Set aside some ‘time to worry’
This involves allowing your child some time to worry. Tell your child they have a set time (we suggest keeping it to around 10 minutes), and that they can worry all they like during that time. Write it down, draw it out, think it through, talk it out. Whatever that worry time looks like, make it count!
When the time is up though, the book is closed and it’s time to play again :) this offers constructive time for emotions to be felt and acknowledged, without them taking over.
4 – Use a mood diary
You might use a journal yourself, so why not your child? You can craft a book out of A4 paper pages together and they can decorate a cover however they like. They can use smiley faces, stickers, colours or words to track their mood throughout the day or week. This can help you monitor their mood in the lead up to the first day back to school.
These clues will help you lead conversations at bed time. You can reassure them that they are supported and loved, and that their feelings are valid.
5 – Return to a routine
A week or so before school starts, begin to return to term-time routines. This may mean adjusting bed times, reducing screen time, practising the school run or preparing school uniforms and book bags. Don’t make it a big deal, but bring them back to the idea that school is normal, and nothing to worry about.
This is all aimed at reminding the child that they are totally capable and that any changes will be positive once they settle back into their classroom environment.
You may even be anxious for the start of school on their behalf! Try not to pass this on, nor show your own worries through emotional behaviours as this can unsettle your child and make them feel less certain.
If your child is more anxious than usual, you can speak to the school and see what they can do to help support your child’s return. They may even experience panic attacks, meltdowns or simply refuse to do certain tasks. Your school needs to know what’s going on at home, in order to support their learning and help them settle as quickly as possible at school.
Loss of appetite or losing interest in things they usually enjoy is a sign that it may be time to visit the GP and get some more support. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and it should be normalised to look after mental health as part of family life. GPs are becoming much better at supporting children’s psychological needs and they should be able to refer you if needed.
If you need more support with your child’s mental health, you can access NHS services via:
You may also wish to ask what the waiting times are, so that you can seek private support if this is an option for you, and what to do in the meantime if your child’s health changes.
We hope you’re all looking forward to going back to school in September – some children find the transition more challenging than others, but take it one step at a time and seek help when you need it.
More than anything, if your child has ‘big feelings’ then let them feel them. Resist the urge to tell them ‘not to worry’. It’s ok to feel nervous! Try to find ways to allow these feelings some space, without them taking over family life. Your child may need a physical outlet such as sport, or social time, or they may simply need more hugs than usual. If you know what’s going on with their emotions, you’ll be better equipped to help them manage.
If your child is already attending GO GO Makers, we’d like to thank you for being part of our holiday camp family! Our holiday camps all include activities and games aimed at building resilience, and building confidence in a safe space. Children thrive when they succeed, and we make sure that each challenge is just enough for them to cope with. And when they help each other succeed – BOOM! – that’s where the magic happens.
Click here to register your child and help them shine with our award winning holiday camps.
At GO GO Makers, we want every child who joins us to feel happy, safe, included and ready to have fun while they’re in our care. That’s why, as part
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September is calling, and it’s natural for children to feel anxious when faced with a new classroom. New teacher, new support staff, and for some even a different school. As
